Maybe it’s not you

Mr. Francis J. Kong’s article this Sunday

Maybe it’s not you
BUSINESS MATTERS (BEYOND THE BOTTOM LINE) By Francis J. Kong
Sunday, August 17, 2008

Somebody says: “In the business world, a senior manager is expected to know a little something about a lot of things. A manager is expected to know everything about something. The secretaries however, are expected to know everything about everything.” Quite true I believe.

And then there was this person who complained: “We’ve all had some “unusual” bosses, I know, but I had one at one time who was more than just a bit “eccentric”.

He had two signs on his desk:

1) “In this Office, the word ‘No’ is a complete sentence”

2) “Reduce Stress by being reasonable — Do it my way”

While there is a lot of “boss –bashing” going around in the work place, the fact is that many leaders are misunderstood.

It’s not easy being a leader. The leader comes up with a new policy and four people love it while 400 want to kill him. It’s not easy. Many people ambition to become leaders without understanding the responsibilities that come with the job. They are focused on the perks of leadership but they do not understand the price of leadership.

Leaders are often times misunderstood.

Maybe they are not clear in the way they communicate but what about the possibility of people misreading them and misinterpreting their motives and intentions?

Stuart Levine is author of “Cut to the Chase” and in his book he narrates his experience. Stuart says his colleague arrived for a sales call with the CEO of one of the world’s largest ad agencies. The CEO met him at the elevator. Looking rushed and preoccupied, he said, “I only have fifteen minutes.”

Many people would have instantly deflated thinking, “he doesn’t really want to talk to me – I might as well give up right now.” Instead, Stuart says: “My colleague said, “No problem. We’re prepared – we’ll move fast.” The CEO’s mood instantly brightened. They had a great meeting that did, in fact, end in less than fifteen minutes. My colleague was smart enough to realize that the CEO’s mood had nothing to do with him. Because of that he was able to stay focused and on point.”

It’s a great story and there are lots of lessons we can learn from his account.

I had a great time recently speaking to the key officers and staff of a very famous and respectable consumer goods company. During the question and answer portion a very bright and honest lady from the sales department asked me a great question. She said, “How do I fight this ugly and terrible feeling every time I get rejected by my client?”

What a great question.

I looked at her right in the middle of the audience and said, “Your clients do not know you well or long enough to reject you. Your clients simply refused you so it’s not about you. It’s about business so don’t take it personal.”

Whether you’re dealing with a boss, a colleague, a client, customer or even your spouse and especially your mother-in-law, the other person’s mood often has nothing to do with you. Do not waste time and valuable energy wondering what you did wrong or how you can fix someone else’s issue when it’s not even your fault or concern. In other words, DON’T BE PARANOID!

Should you have this funny feeling in your gut that you may have offended someone without intending to then it’s as simple as approaching the person and asking them. If the person says it’s not about you then just offer your support if needed. Cut him or her some slack.

Now here’s the key. Most of the time, it’s not about you. Everyone has a bad hair day including those who do not have hair so let it go and enjoy your day.

(Francis Kong will be the lead trainer for the Dr. John Maxwell’s “Developing the Leader Within You” leadership program this August 21-22 at EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. 632-8129125)